Remembering Why I Wrote "The Other Book"

In June of 2015, I released my personal memoir “Out and About Dad,” just a few weeks before the Supreme Court ruled in favor of marriage equality. We were on a high, feeling like we were making progress. Collectively.

To be honest, I had struggled with publishing the book. My good friend Gwen, as noted in the book, had been trying to convince me for years to write my story after having released my first marketing book and two small sequels to it.

“You have to write the other book,” she would continually poke at me, “You have to tell your story about being a gay dad.”

So I decided to write it and I found a publisher willing to put it into the market. Even as I was writing it though, I wasn’t sure if I would actually go through with putting it out there. So many doubts ran through my head like … “is it too personal?” … “will anyone care?” … “will it matter?”

Even when I finished it, I almost put it on the shelf except that the first few early previewers insisted that I move forward, including Gwen and my mother-in-law. Once released, I was so moved by the comments that readers would send me like … “you saved my life!” … “I’m not alone!” … “I can do this!” And not just from other gay dads, but from people of all walks of life who had their own struggles.

As the years progressed and my children started their own lives, I again doubted the relevancy of the book as I was feeling cultural progress towards equality. Perhaps those difficult milestones that I had to go through are no longer relevant to people now.

Well given the events of the last two years, I am now remembering our need to fight. Our need to share our stories so that others won’t feel alone and so that others know that they too can make it.

So I encourage each of us, all of us, to share our stories. Talk about your dreams and what might hold you back. Talk about the barriers that others put in front of you. Talk about the bias and discrimination you face in just merely trying to live your life and make your own choices. On your own terms. So that others can share their stories too and help each other to fight.

Yes then fight back. Unite and fight back to protect your rights to be who you are, no matter who you are.

“The Other Book” gave me that voice and that will to fight, even on the days that I doubted it. And we all have days where we doubt it.

Share your story! JIM