So This is an (Another) Ally

Source: Unsplash.com

It’s Pride Week here in New York and all week I’ve been hearing people talk about being allies, and I’m soaking it in. And as I’ve said previously in my blog about my friend and ally Tommy, I’ve heard people talking about how they want to BE an ally and not just TALK about being an ally. I get it, I feel the same way about being an ally for my friends as well.

So in honor of Pride, I thought I’d feature another ally today who has been instrumental in my life in so many ways including being an ally for my family.

My husband and I have been together for quite some time but we didn’t get married until 2015 because quite honestly we didn’t want to get married until everyone could get married, so when SCOTUS ruled in 2015 we jumped on it. In fact we used what was our celebrated anniversary of our first date, so we turned it into our wedding anniversary. August 9th.

I posted on Facebook that we had gotten engaged and had intended to get married in New York City and all of a sudden my friend Laura sent me a note that she would love to officiate our ceremony. Laura was a friend and colleague from my first job out of graduate school at Johnson & Johnson and she was a HUGE mentor and inspiration to me as I was starting out my career. She was SO accomplished and SO smart and SO networked and SO respected at the company and I marveled at her success and thought how on earth do I become like her as I start my career. We worked together quite a bit and I learned so much from her. And we had a lot of laughs along the way too!

So here we are years later, and she offers to officiate our wedding. Laura’s approach to spirituality and inclusion was just perfect for us as a family so we were thrilled.

We were nervous, quite honestly, because even though marriage equality (was) is now legal we know not a lot of people agree with it. We know not a lot of people want to see us get married. That weighs on our minds. I know it shouldn’t it, but it does.

On the day of the wedding, Laura drives all the way into Manhattan on a hot August day and meets me, my husband, and our two adult kids at our apartment and then we trek into Central Park and walk into the woods for the ceremony and then we walk across Central Park to Tavern on the Green for a champagne toast and then trek back to our apartment so she can travel back into New Jersey. Wow.

Small, simple, intimate. Family with Laura officiating.

It was an amazing day. Amazing. Because of Laura. All to make sure that our special day was as special as it could be. Generousity. Love. Friendship. Ally.

As I reflect on folks this week asking how to be an ally, I think … be like Laura … in your own way. Go out of your way to help a friend have a great experience in perhaps what might otherwise be hard.

Now that’s an ally! What’s your experience? JIM